Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Week Six

Every day I get an email from Parents.com telling me about what the fetus is like, or developing, or doing. The email has links about nutrition, medicine, ultrasounds-- everything. I read every link, and follow every discussion.

Today I saw that the fetus is the size of a lentil. That morning sickness will begin in earnest.

I called April, and asked how she was feeling-- a bit queezy.

So I studied to see what foods are good, what are not recommended, and how we should approach these weeks with her.

It is difficult being a prospective dad from 2100 miles away. I talk to April several times a day - and yet I feel so inept. Yesterday she asked what she should eat for dinner-- April isn't a cook, and she is so tired from the pregnancy she doesn't even have the energy to heat food.

Friday I know I will be back there. My plan is to shop, and fix her lots of premade meals so she could just heat things up and have a dinner or a snack at anytime.

As excited as I am to be a father-- it is so difficult. I told her, "Honey, if you ever can't handle it, if you ever need me-- just call and we will get you on the next plane, or if you need me-- just call, and I will be there."

Odd-- I spent my life worrying about myself, and giving no thought to the future-- now, I look to the future and smile. I'm going to be a dad. For the first time I worry that I can provide a living-- never has been an issue before, but now I feel the weight of a responsibility I never felt before-- and it is good.