Monday, November 2, 2015

Holding out

From Mom's Cupboard
Dear JJ,

As I sat in my parents home I saw the spices my mom used.  She cooked until two years ago when macular degeneration made it unsafe for her to cook. You can see that she put big print on the jars so that she could see what they were to add them to the meals she made for my dad.  She did what she could.

Then when she became nearly blind, and could no longer cook my dad would take her daily to breakfast and then to lunch.

Every day my 91 year old dad would take her out to eat.

Then it got to where he couldn't do that.

They are both in a safe place now - where they are fed, and looked after.

Forced retirement for both of them - but it is ok. It is ok to retire.

It has been a hard week to see my folks move into assisted living. When I was in mom's kitchen I could hear her tell me to taste the food, smell the food, add more flavor. I could see my dad sitting at his desk balancing his checkbook in case the bank made a mistake. But mostly I remember being a little boy in their house- with mom and dad bigger than life, being protected and loved.

You will know me as an older dad. I will retire from my job when you are still a young man.

But know this - I will never retire from being your dad. And I will do as much as I can, for as long as I can, to be there for you - to make you laugh, to encourage you to be a nice person, to let you know that your are loved.



One of the last times dad brought mom to breakfast and ordered for her off the menu - she is blind.
I suspected when I took this photo of them walking to the parking lot it would be one of the last times dad could drive her to breakfast. Now they are in a good place and dad no longer has to drive them.