A blog of letters from an older father to his young son... Meant for an audience of one- shared with you.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Nine Days
Dear Son,
Nine days I have had you!
This week you got to meet your grandpa Grosshans and your uncle Peter! They arrived late Tuesday night - but as late as it was, they were perfectly awake to meet you and hold you.
This morning as I went in to change you- your grandpa came in, and after I was done held you until you gently fell asleep. There is a lot of love in this house right now- you have your aunt, Kim, grandma and grandpa Grosshans, your mom - and your doggie, Lucky, (oh, me too).
It is wonderful having this house full of family - the sad part is yesterday they started to make arrangements for going back to China. We are going to miss them - a lot.
This week we saw the pediatrician; he tells us you will start sleeping through the night in the next two weeks - and that is ok with us.
Until then - we love playing with you- holding you- and every moment with you is pretty special. Even as I am writing this you are laying in the bassinet beside me (we are giving your mom some rest this morning).
Ok, son, I have to go to work- so I get to turn you over to your grandpa for a bit. I sure look forward to coming home tonight. Funny how life changes. A year ago I would go to the cigar shop every night on my way home- then I met your mom, and now we have you. Now I pass by the cigar shops and head home with a big smile.
Love,
Dad
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Two ladies and a baby
Dear JJ,
Happy five days old, son!
So here is what I have learned:
(a) changing diapers isn't so bad - in fact, I am working on getting better and better at it (like surgery, I want to become the best diaper changer in the world)
(b) I cannot imagine how single mothers do this without any help. Your gigi is here, and even with her, your mom, and me- we need six extra hands -- thankfully reinforcement will come tonight when your Auntie Kim comes
(c) Sleep - you get a lot of it- but for you an hour here or there is fine- for us- well, we make the mistake of staying up when it is light and trying to wake up as needed. I suspect we need to figure it out a different way - like taking naps all the time.
(d) We were worried about how Dr. Lucky would react around you. He sniffs you, licks your face, and then sits down by you as if he is standing guard. I wonder if dogs have instincts about people puppies?
Your mom just stares at you sometime and says how much she loves you - so do I. I feel like a teenager who is in love for the first time (or second ) - because I can't stop talking about you.
Everyone wants to say who you look like- me, your mom, your grandfather, your aunt - so far you look like you- or maybe Yoda - but you are cute.
I keep getting my chance to hold you, kiss your head, and rock you. It was more special than I thought it would be.
Finally- some friends came over to see us yesterday- Evo and Sheila - somehow we had forgotten what adult conversation was - and guess what- I look forward to adult conversation with you. I'm not rushing you- this is a pretty nice place to have you.
OK- JJ- I need a nap- it is afternoon here- which is your prime sleeping time
Love,
Dad
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Hi Son!
Wow- you are here! All 7 lbs 13 ounces of you, and 20.5 inches of you. You are here! And everything I imagined - .
It was quite a day - while we can plan C-sections, we cannot always plan the time they will happen. True to form- there was an emergency or two before they were able to get to your mom - but we went in about 15:45 and you were born at 16:01. The entire C-section took 16 minutes from skin to skin.
You were taken quickly to a warmer where the pediatrician cleaned you up - and guess whose arms you were put into first -- yup, mine. We got you right over to your mom though, and she was the second person to give you a kiss!
The last couple of nights I have stayed up with you -- although around 3 am I fall asleep. Your mom and I are learning how to take care of you and all I can say is that it is difficult to put you down!
So, son - welcome to this world. You no longer have your mother's womb to protect you but you are surrounded by the love of your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so many wonderful friends.
One good friend saw a photo of me holding you and said, "You have spent your life waiting for him." It's true-- I have, I just didn't know it.
Sorry if I keep wanting to hold you- I'm just upset I took a week off instead of a month
Love,
Dad
Monday, July 19, 2010
This Is It
Dear JJ - and friends,
Today is the day- so if you want to know how we feel-- well-- here is the link.
Love,
Dad
Today is the day- so if you want to know how we feel-- well-- here is the link.
Love,
Dad
T Minus One
Dear Son,
In one day I get to see your face - and I cannot tell you how overwhelming that is.
In nine months you went from an idea - to a baby - to our son. For nine months your mom and I have been talking to you, about you, planning for you. That won't stop- we just get to see you.
Anticipation slows down time - (and your mom would say carrying a 7 pound kid inside slows down time too) - and so many of our friends have said to enjoy every moment because the time goes by quickly.
Your mom and I found each other and knew something was special. We both have had great fun in life, and then we decided to do it together. Well-- life is just too much fun, especially when your life is centered at giving back. So- son, we look forward to you joining our party.
There have been so many amazing things on this short journey - finding your mom was the most amazing, but we have found so many friends who have opened their heart to you - and so many acquaintances who have shared good wishes. You son, will be spoiled with love-- not with things, but with a lot of love (and will have more aunties and uncles than you can imagine)
Ok son, I have to go to work - a short day, and Gigi is coming in to town.
Come join the party! See you soon. T minus One day and counting
Love,
Dad
Thursday, July 15, 2010
My Mum, Your Gigi!!
So JJ, I've told you about my dad, your grandpa.. but the first person you'll meet next week after me and your dad is my mum - your Gigi!!We're gonna call her Gigi because frankly, I told her she's way to young at heart and in action to be called Grandma! ha ha!
Your Gigi is amazing! She is the energy behind our family, she is the soul of the Grosshans and well she makes sure everyone is taken care of. She is one of the most approachable, disarming and beautiful people you will ever know... and she is always full of hugs and kissesto give you!!!
She is full of adventure, her favorite place to be is living out of a suitcase and traveling the world! In fact, you'll probably be one of the few kids in your class who can brag that his grandparents live in Beijing China!! We're going to take you there next year, and I can't wait to take you when you're older too!
You see I was born in Hong Kong, China - your grandparents lived their in the 1970's and now they live in Beijing! But what's really neat, is that you have an Uncle who was also born in China - Hainan (one of the southern most points of the country!).
China is very special to us for that reason - because that's where my mum found and fell in love with a little boy named Peter! (Your crazy Uncle!).
Petey has changed all of our lives, in fact we can't imagine living life without him! He is one of the most beautiful people you'll ever meet and super talented too!Mum met Petey in an orphanage when he was just a tiny baby. Remember when I told you she and your Grandpa lived everywhere? Well at this point in their lives they were living in Hainan. Grandpa was teaching English and Gigi was volunteering at an orphanage!
We all fell in love with Peter and well mum said if he wasn't adopted by the end of the year then, "we'd have to do something". And the whole family agreed!
Well, God knew exactly what family needed that little boy the most - it was ours! And ever since the day Petey became a 'Grosshans' it was like he had always been there! He has blessed us more through his life than us through his! And it all started because Gigi - isn't afraid of anything - I've learned through her never to say no to taking risks - and when it comes to following matters of the heart... even if it's against everything 'that's normal in this world' - then do it.
Gigi and Grandpa were in their late 50's when Petey came along - you see and they'd just finished raising Auntie Kimi and I - but they knew that even though it was out of the norm to raise a child at that age - that's what they wanted more than anything ... and as I like to say - it's the best decision our family, my parents - ever made!
My mum has left a legacy in our house that I pray I leave to you, and that's openess. You see every night before I went to bed since I can remember, my mum would come and sit on the edge of our beds and ask us about our day? And even when I didn't feel like talking, or was insecure about my ideas, thoughts and daily events, she would almost always be able to get a good conversation out of me! We would sit and talk about things that were funny and easy in life, but those moments also helped me when I didn't know what to do or had made a wrong choice - I always knew that mum would be there to help me talk it through and find a solution. She taught us always to think "put yourself in the other person's shoes before you judge or get angry... understand why they're reacting that way and you will see there's always a reason."
I could go on and on about my mum, your Gigi - it's easy and as you grow up you'll see how much your mum (me) and Gigi are alike... and I am so proud to be like her in so many ways. I pray that make half the impact she has in other peoples lives... for even right now as you read this she is probably on some adventure in over in Beijing helping at an orphanage, hospital or volunteering at the local university's English club. She is an amazing woman... who has loved and encouraged hundreds of others through out her life... and I pray that one day you and I will do the same!
Love your new mum:-)
PS- 5 more days and I get to hold you!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
From our friend - Auntie Del
This was a wonderful video made by one of our twitter friends.
April and I met on twitter -- a follow led to a dinner - led to a romance - and led to us deciding to spend our lives together. She is one of those who followed us- .
I am not known for being too outwardly emotional- this whole experience has changed that. And this video, this one made me cry.
So, JJ-- you have a lot of people looking forward to meeting you.
Love,
Dad
April and I met on twitter -- a follow led to a dinner - led to a romance - and led to us deciding to spend our lives together. She is one of those who followed us- .
I am not known for being too outwardly emotional- this whole experience has changed that. And this video, this one made me cry.
So, JJ-- you have a lot of people looking forward to meeting you.
Love,
Dad
Monday, July 12, 2010
Eight Days
Dear JJ,
We had two visits to the doctor's office this week - all to find out a bit about you! And anytime we can find out more about you, it makes me happy.
The trooper in all of this is your mom. Your mom is an active lady, as I am sure you will find out. But, as the doctor said the other day, "You are in survival mode." The last few days until you are brought out of the womb and into our loving arms. Your poor mom, she can't get out and do too much - she sleeps and reads a lot, and just hangs out- waiting for the day. Last summer your mom spent every weekend wake-boarding - and then, in the later summer- spent weekends traveling. Her joy is snowboarding- something she didn't get to do last winter, but is already picking your snow outfit for this coming winter.
They say parents sacrifice a lot for their children - and your mom has.
But both of us agree about one thing: we have been fortunate to live and do almost every great adventure in life; it is time to give back - -and we can't wait to do it with you.
Eight days - some say I should get rest while I can. But you know what my favorite thing is before I go to sleep - right after kissing your mom goodnight? It is putting my hand on your mom's belly- pushing on you a bit, and feel you wiggle and squirm and saying "goodnight son."
Yea- losing sleep but getting to hold you - that isn't losing sleep, that is just joy.
Love,
Dad
Friday, July 2, 2010
Sometimes I think ahead too much
Dear JJ,
One of the more popular sayings these days is to "live in the moment." What they mean is to enjoy the moments that you have because soon they will be gone.
I have had the most incredible year this last year. I met your mother, and we decided to have you!
Today is 18 days before we are scheduled to see you. That means in 18 days I get to kiss you face for the first time! But then I got ahead of myself. I felt sad, because in 18 years (or fewer) you will be going off to college, and your mother and I will hold each other and cry that you are leaving the nest.
The photo is of my mom and dad who frame our wedding - and I thought of that today because I remember going home from college during Christmas break my first year. It was a lot of fun to see my parents and be with my brothers for a couple of weeks. The day before I went mom seemed a bit edgy. When I got back to college I called my folks and dad answered and said, "You know, your mom wasn't mad at you at all, son. After you left she just cried."
I call my folks every day now - or try to. I love talking to them. And if mom or dad complain about a few aches and pains all I have to do is say something about their grandson, you, and I can hear their smile over the telephone.
Love is across generations- son. Right now you are safe in your mom's womb, I am at work, and my parents are in Oregon. But we are all bound by a lot of love. So, before I worry too much about you going away to college and leaving our nest - I have to remember -- there is no distance for the heart.
I love you son. But the countdown is on - . Oh- in 19 days they say I will be getting less sleep than I am now -- that's ok. I don't sleep much as a surgeon anyway. I just look forward to rocking us both to sleep.
Love,
Dad
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Coming Soon
Dear JJ,
There are a lot of people waiting for you to get here- but these two are my parents-- you will be their first grandchild.
Mom has been waiting to be "grandma" for a lot of years, and dad has been waiting to be "grandpa" for a long time. I can't wait to put you in their arms.
You see, I am the youngest of three boys. The little one in the photo there - -taken about 1965. The brother you are named after, Jimmy - had cancer very young and couldn't have children. Ron has never had kids - and I must be the precocious one- because at age 53 I will be having you!
The week before you are born, my folks will be in Alaska with Ron - and no doubt sitting by the phone in case you decide to make an early appearance.
Your mom and I have your room ready- and we have your grandparents room ready.
There are a lot of people looking forward to you coming -- until then, rest easy in your mom's womb. You are safe and secure there, and every morning I reach over - see you moving and say "morning son."
I look forward to telling you that to your face. Then I can kiss you and play with you, and soon put you in the arms of so many people - like your grandparents - who are looking forward to seeing you
Love,
Dad
PS - you don't have to be in a hurry to make me a grandpa - but it did take me 52 years to find your mom- who is an amazing and wonderful lady
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