It has been way too long

Dear JJ,

This has been kind of a rough year. In March I was hospitalized for pneumonia and spent several days in the hospital.  It was hard on you to see your dad there. 

Then later I had a small lesion taken off my nose and the results came back as a cancer - thankfully that changed and it was benign.

In those moments when I thought I had a disease that would take me from you, I thought of how I just want to spend as much time as I can with you in whatever time I had left.

So I am looking forward to coming to Canada for your birthday - nine years old.  It turns out you have been away from Phoenix since May 27th.  Even though I see you almost daily on the phone it isn't quite the same.  And a couple of days after I leave you and your mother are coming back to Phoenix.

At first I felt guilty about you coming back - the weather here is miserable. Then I realized - I miss you terribly, and your mother, and time is one thing I can't make up for, something I can't buy.

So, I promise to swim with you in the pool and in a couple of weeks you will start school.
See you soon,

Love,


Dad

Fun place to catch bugs- this from a couple of years ago

From this year in Canada - ah, lots to keep you busy

You have always had a special relationship with Gigi

Exploring Lake Ontario- even a shipwreck you have touched 

Poppop is the best

The lake is too much fun

While you were in Canada your dad found time to be on a wreck and I look forward to you learning scuba and joining your mom and I for more adventrues

My Golf Buddy

My Golf Buddy 

Dear JJ,

For the last few months, on Sunday morning, you want to come golfing with me and Uncle Steve. You are learning, but you are enthusiastic.  Sometimes I thought - oh, if I could just get an adult golf day. Then I saw you as you had just hit a shot, with a big smile on your face and I realized: in a few years you will be an adult, you may want to golf with your friends - so I have this amazing boy who loves to be with his daddy.

I can't wait to take you out next Sunday


Love,

Dad

Am I spending enough time with you?

Dear JJ,

The other night I came home, having left early in the morning to do some surgery, and you said, "I missed you today, dad."

I see photos of you from a few years ago and you have gone from a baby to a toddler to a second grader and I wonder - am I spending enough time with you?

Today I called hospice to talk about your grandmother, my mom, and I realize, we just never get to spend enough time with people we love.

But I am thankful for the time I can spend with you - you are happy, smiling, love making people laugh, and a good boy.

I love you son.


-- Dad

Both your front teeth are back

And you are always smiling

Best of life

Dear JJ,

Three weeks into second grade and you have been a "super scholar" several times.  What does that mean? You have been quiet - and didn't disrupt the class. But the nice thing was, I drove you to your first day of class - and we got our selfie

You are a natural leader, JJ. When kids are around you organize them, and help them move along with whatever game you play. You are quite social.

So what does your dad think?  I couldn't be more proud of you, and love that you still want me to put you to bed, read you Harry Potter, and then a few hours later sneak into our bed.

I couldn't be a happier dad. And I hope if you grow up and have kids that you have that same joy.

Stop, enjoy your kids - love every minute of them - no matter how hard it is, because this is the best time of life I have ever had.

Love Your Dad

You still love Pasta

We went to Cabo after First Grade - and you love it there

Grandpa is still one of your favorites

And travel is still important to you

How Do You Tell A Boy About Evil?

Dear JJ,

We took a trip and stopped in Berlin, Germany. I had to wonder - how do I tell you about evil? You hear about it in fairy tales, but what and when do I tell you?

How do I tell you that the place you are dancing was once where the Nazis burned books and imposed censorship upon one of the most literate peoples of the planet?

How do I tell you that this place you are taking a photograph has had two tragedies with it?

One is this church - bombed out from World War 2 - left as a symbol of a war that reduced Berlin to rubble.

This memorial next to it is where a person killed innocent people who were shopping, using his car as a weapon to promote another ideology of hate - ISIS. 

How do I explain that this photo I am having you stand in front of is the only time that the tanks of the United States and the USSR were lined up against one another and we narrowly avoided a World War that would have been the end of the planet?

How do I tell you that the monument you are enjoying is called the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, when just recently a friend of yours said that because your daddy is Jewish he will be going to where "all the monsters are."

How do I tell you that we, against a powerful government that is evil are like this: alone, naked, and needing help?

How do I explain that this wreath represents where five soldiers were shot because they wanted to end a brutal dictatorship?

I will tell you, and you will learn, but most of all this photo, taken next to a panel by Checkpoint Charlie,  reminds me that you are our hope. That "a little child will lead them."

Love,

Dad

Uncle Jimmy

Dear JJ,

Today is the 11th anniversary of when your uncle Jimmy died. Those of us who knew him will always miss him - and I am so sad that you never were able to meet the man we named you after.

You have so many of his traits: you smile a lot, you are kind, and when you get in trouble at school it is because you are being social with your friends - just like him.  He would have loved to know you, and you would have been a reason he would have come to Arizona.  He would have come to cheer you on in his favorite sport, baseball. He would have spent hours kicking a soccer ball around with you.

You are lucky to have many fine relatives in your life - but I am so sad today that one of the finest is just a memory. That memory comes alive not just on a day like today when it is the anniversary of his death, but in your personality I see it often.

Keep being kind, keep loving your friends, keep smiling. You are your own person - and sorry if sometimes we see and remember another. 

Love,

Dad

The three of us - Jimmy, myself, Ron

The Joy of Competition

Dear JJ,

Soccer season finished on Saturday - your first full year.  Your team lost 4-0.  But the best part was when we asked how you liked the game you said you loved it. 

Over the course of the year you have loved playing soccer - sometimes in the hallway with me as different photographs fall off the wall when struck.  Sometimes in the backyard (one way we get Lucky's dog poops cleaned up).  But you always love it.

Turns out you are a pretty good player.

You love the game, love playing with friends, and while you like telling me when you win - you still like the game.

That, my son - is what it is all about.

When I play golf I never hope my opponent will have a bad shot. I want his shot to be good, I want his putt to go into the cup.  If I win the match, I am not beating him - I am beating myself. I am playing my best. 

Celebrate the good plays of others- and play your best game.

Competition isn't about winning, it is about bringing out the best in yourself.  Unless we are racing to get ready in the morning - then it is about winning.