The Joys of Halloween

Dear JJ,

Do you know one of the great joys of being a dad? It isn't being able to watch our childhood again- it is having such a deep love that we watch you love being a kid.

Tonight I look forward to taking you out to Trick or Treat. To see your face when you get the loot- to watch people admire your Captain America outfit. To watch you flex your muscles when I ask you to.

To see you smile.

Your smile is the joy that warms my heart - and every holiday I just smile more because of it. Thank you

Love,

Dad

Dressing up for your Pre School Party

Your mom gets to take you. The hard part of working is I just get to see photographs- but the fun part of today is I get to see you. 

Pleasing

You came into the bathroom and seeing me brush my teeth wanted to brush yours- even though you just woke up

Dear JJ,

Four years old is full of energy - a lot of energy. But even with all that energy you want to spend a lot of it trying to please us, and make us smile.

The hard part is when you feel as if you don't please us. Then you cry.

You even picked up a sense of humor and teasing- if you can make us laugh or smile, then you are so happy.

We want to please you, son. We like it when you are happy, and healthy, and growing.

I just can't believe how much joy you have brought to our lives,

Love,

Dad

You love to help daddy in the kitchen

The Sweetness at the End

Dear JJ,

Going to see my folks for their 66th Anniversary and Dad's 90th birthday was difficult.  My first time to see my mom in a "memory care unit," and I didn't know what to expect.

But you made it great.

My parents have this deep and abiding love, that probably few will know- especially with the years they have had together. You can see the pure contentment they have around each other. But you bring them a different joy.

Your mom said something that struck, "Having JJ at this point in their lives is like the sweetness in the end."

My son- the dessert in life.

You are that for us too, son. We have had a great life, but you are the sweet that gives us so much joy and smiles. Thank you,

Love,

Dad

Dad said to mom, "I'm sorry it has to be this way." Mom said to dad, "These 66 years have been my pleasure."

Nothing makes people smile like a happy boy with a balloon 

Two days later, even at the 90th birthday- the balloons are back and everyone is all smiles

Grandma Simpson

Dear JJ,

When I told you that my mom was sick and not feeling well you looked at me and said, "Grandma Simpson?" Amazing that my four year old gets that connection. But still, this is a hard one.

We have to go visit her, and she is now in a home to help her. My mom loves you- when we told her that we were going to have you it was one of the happiest times I have seen her.  She, more than anyone, loves to get you cars and trucks as toys - because she had boys and knows how much we love those.

Now she is having a hard time, with her memory and her thinking - but she still loves you.

Do you know what the hardest part for me is- I can't call her. Because I use to call her every day, and it isn't something that I can do. So I pass word on to her by my dad, Grandpa Simpson.

We all get old, son. We will go and visit her, and see a lot of her over the next months - as much as it takes. But I hope you see one thing: as your mom and I get older, please keep in touch. It will mean a lot to us, as it does to my mom.

Love,

Dad

On our last visit, it was one of the last times my mom was able to be in her home

Mom loves getting you cars - she loves her grandson

Taking My Medicine

Dear JJ,

Right now you are in Canada with Gigi and Papa and soon Uncle Peter. It has been over a week since I saw you, but your mom sends me these nice photos of you enjoying your time in Cobourg. You have no idea how much joy it brings to see photos of your joy. But in all of that there is worry.

We had not made our will, but it brings to mind how life can be short and fickle. Nothing to worry about- but the joy that you have brought me is that you live in the moment. Your smile lights my heart, and if I ever want to feel better all I have to do is see that smile and my heart is light. 

You are having a great time - but I am so looking forward to seeing you again. Because your smile is like medicine for my heart - and I need to take my medicine.

Love, 

Dad

Playing in the sand - we all need more mud

Is there a better place for a boy than a beach? 

That smile- I just breathe better seeing it

The best four years

Dear JJ,

Four years ago I started smiling, and it has not stopped. I have enjoyed every stage of your life- from the first time I held your hand to watching you first read gate signs at the airport yesterday. 

Most dads think their children are smart -  but there are two parts of you that I really love:

You get a look in your eye when you are going to tease someone, and love to do that and you are very kind.  At play areas I see you helping smaller children, with care and gentleness. You have this genuine smile, and joy in your life. 

So as you grow and at times life will toss things and you may feel  badly, look back into that part of you - smile, be kind, joke with those you love and know that your life made this dad the happiest his life has ever been. 

Love, 

Dad

I can't always be there

Dear JJ,

Today when your mom called me you were upset because mom didn't want you to lick the tomatoes in the grocery store. You did- and lost the cookie you were promised. You cried for daddy to help, but I just couldn't be there.

Life is like that. As much as I want everything to go well for you, and you to be happy - sometimes it just isn't going to happen.

On the other hand - that you like tomatoes is good taste!

Your first solo ride

Some rides were ok- some rides well, were amazing- you loved the Roller Coaster, Ferris Wheel, but not the Dragon

Always the coolest kid in the group

Mom is still the one you want to share the ride with - and you should,  she's pretty cool