Your Mom Is Cool

Dear JJ,

Your mom is cool.

I come home from work and hear you and your mom playing "action figures" in the living room. Fully engaged, fully enjoying it- running around with you.

As she redecorated your room from the "baby room," to your room, and makes it into an "Avengers" room - just like you wanted- it is pretty clear: yup, your mom is pretty cool.

Love,

Dad

Captain America Reading Dad's Favorite Dr. Who

And always wanting you to enjoy her joy as she enjoys yours

Taking an old photo and remaking it into something for you

Taking Time To Say Goodbye

Dear JJ,

Thursdays are my favorite days because I get to bring you to school.

Today when we arrived one of your friends, Liam was crying. He was crying because he didn't think his mom had told him goodbye.

It is easy for parents, trying to "rush" and "drop" kids off - but it was an important lesson to me. Take a minute, look you in the eye, give you a hug and a kiss, and let you know that I love you, and say good bye.

It won't be long now before you will be traveling on your own - and I guess I need to teach you that it is always important to take time for that simple interaction.  Today it was Liam's world.  Tomorrow, it may be mine as you jet off somewhere.

I love you,

Love,

Dad

We are always in a rush - but never in too much of a rush to say goodbye

Beega

Dear JJ,

We lost your baby blanket. And while you are getting to the age where it is meaning less and less to you, it means more to us.

Your blanket was one of your comforts - you called it your "beega." When you cried you wanted it - not just any blanket, but this one particular blanket.

You have many blankets, but you always wanted this one. Some wonderful friends and family made or purchased many different blankets, but this one you bonded with. We don't know why - but this one was yours. Once we went to Oregon and forgot it- but we got by because we went to a store and told you that you could pick out your own "travel beega." You did, but as soon as you got home and were reunited with your "sparkly beega" you were happy.

But on an overnight flight it was mixed in with the blankets from the airplane and left as we hurried off the flight.

Goodbye beega - you did a great job.

Sorry son - we really feel bad about this.

Love,

Dad

The blanket travelled with you to three continents and hundreds of thousands of miles

Can't sleep

Dear JJ,

This morning, about 4 am the weight of the world was upon me so I got up early and did some work. You woke up and came out, and I said you still needed to sleep, that it was still night.  You asked why I was up and I said, "I just can't sleep."  You said, "I can't sleep either."

That you wanted to be with daddy made me smile. We went back into the bedroom and off you slept- after demanding a hug and your blanket.

As I listened to you snore the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I never knew the weight of the world could be lifted off my shoulders by a four year old boy.

Thank you son, for putting life in such sweet perspective. Sometimes all you need is love.

Love,

Dad

Making Valentine's Cards for Teacher Ruth-Ann

Breakfast with Mom - Part 2

Mom and dad at breakfast this morning- collecting smiles while I can

In Alaska- the smile I love to collect

Dear JJ,

Mom was able to get out of the "memory care" center - and is doing better- not completely better, but so much better. And best of all, she loves my dad, and they just enjoy one another's company. So she is home now.

Yesterday my dad had to have the battery on his pacemaker changed. He did fine - but it meant a quick trip here (you and mom stayed home).

It is nice to see mom smile -even though her vision is gone, her hearing is poor, and she worries about her memory.

It is the smile she has-- and the big smiles - when we talked about you.  How you got your violin bow because you knew your violin exercises, how you like to watch Beethoven's Fifth.

Life is uncertain - but now I know that what I have to collect in life isn't things - its smiles.

Love,


Dad

Dad after his new pacemaker- first thing he wanted- Coffee

Confessions of a Foodie Dad

Having a few friends over I cooked....

Dear JJ,

While I am proud when you tell me that you want "sous vide steak," I do have a confession or two for you.

You see, sometimes when your mom is away on business, and it is just you and I - I feed you what we call "junk food."

Yes- your dad has blogs where he talks about cooking at home, I have recipes, your mom has made videos of you and I together in the kitchen.  I preach healthy eating - but sometimes, it is just pizza.

Being a dad means that sometimes we see reality a bit better. And before I was a dad I might give a jaundice eye to someone who told me they fed their kids pizza, or chicken nuggets. Reality is a funny universe.

Here is the truth: you are growing up healthy, with appropriate height and weight. You take your time eating, and you are a good kid.

Still- some of my favorite moments with you are in the kitchen (and I confess, some of my others are when we sit in McDonald's).

Perhaps when you have a son you will have strict rules about eating - but I hope not. Nothing like good junk food to feed the soul.

Love,

Dad

In the kitchen with you (we don't want those photos of pizza around).

The Three of Us

Dear JJ,

Shortly after you were born, I was as nervous as a new dad could be. But over to our house came Evo and Sheila. They also had a son, knew what I was going through, and put your mom and I at ease. When I wondered if what I was feeling as a dad was normal, Evo would be there with a word to encourage and reassure me.

Once your mom had to go away for an assignment and I was seeking someone to help watch you, Sheila was the first to volunteer.

Whenever they came over, you always wanted to play with Aunti Sheila, and she wanted to play with you.

They have always been good with you, because they have a son, NJ, who is now grown up and on his own. For a long time it was the three of them, much like we have the three of us.

At every stage of your life,  they have always quietly encouraged us about being parents of a boy, because they had been through it before.

Now they are gone to Europe, and later to other places. But the hardest thing for them, is their 21 year old son who is still here. They miss their friends, they don't miss Phoenix, but mostly they miss their son, NJ -- a nice young man.

Someday son, maybe your mom and I may be off to some adventure and leave you behind  (maybe when you are 30).  I can only imagine the heartache that Evo and Sheila  are going through with this. It is a part of life- we miss Evo and Sheila  greatly, but I know what will bring them back here is their son.

For them, like us,  in their hearts- even though their son is grown, it is "the three of us."

Love,

Dad

Uncle Evo and Aunti Sheila 

JJ between Auntie Sheila and Uncle Evo- helping play Cards Against Humanity