The baby whisperer

I never understood the love of a father until your mother and I decided to become parents - and then when you came it has been, like my dad described, a fountain of love.

Your grandmother- Gigi - has shown me the love of a grandparent. Here she is - her husband and son having gone back to China, but she stays here, without complaint, and at any opportunity picking you up, holding you, loving you, and just enjoying you.

Your mom calls her "the baby whisperer" because when you are the most fussy- she can calm you. She holds you, dances with you, kisses you, whispers at you- and you calm down and go to sleep in her arms- and then she looks the most satisfied.

You have a lot of love surrounding you, son. Your life has brought out love from a lot of people -

Love,

Dad

An Uncle you will never know

Dear JJ,

I know at 3 weeks old you won't remember anything- but today you lost an uncle. Not an uncle by blood- but an uncle by honor.

Today Senator Ted Stevens died in a plane crash in Alaska. He served in the United States Senate for Alaska from 1969 to 2008. He was given the title of being your uncle for a very simple reason: he wanted to give back, especially to those who had the least.

You are 1/8th Athabascan (Alaska Native) - your grandfather (my dad) was the first Alaska Native with a doctorate, and your dad has served on some Alaska Native organizations. But the reason I was able to become a doctor, the reason I was able to serve as Chairman of Cook Inlet Region, Inc (CIRI) and as a board member of the South Central Foundation, and on the Joint Operating Board of the Alaska Native Medical Center - is because of Senator Stevens.

He was a powerful man in Washington, D.C. - and many will say what he brought to Alaska, in terms of billions of dollars was his legacy. But among Alaska Natives -- he gave us a vehicle where we could restore our dignity.

In health care alone- where we had a hospital in Anchorage run by the federal government (the Indian Health Service) - he brought legislation to allow it to be run by Natives. Because of that the health care model we have is the envy of all American Indians. In Primary Care - patients are able to be seen almost any day, and the health and well being of our people is better because of the leadership in South Central -- but that leadership could not have thrived without the hand of your uncle.

Alaska Natives were not just given a handout- under the Alaska Native Land Claims Settlement Act - they were given a mechanism to do more. And when Cook Inlet Region, Inc (CIRI) - where your dad served on the board, was able to give to all of its shareholders that had 100 shares a tax free check for $50,000 -- we owed that to Senator Stevens.

That is a lot. And think about this, son -- the Alaska Natives, when Senator Stevens went into office - in 1969 - the state was 9 years old (your dad was 11) -- and Alaska Natives were the poorest group of Alaskans, and the least likely to vote.

Ted Stevens was your honorary uncle for one simple reason- he embodied what we think is important in life: your life is not for you, but for others -- it is measured not in what you do for yourself, or your friends, or important people -- it is measured by what you do for those who have the least. We have a duty to give back, son -- and your Uncle Ted, who reached a pinnacle of power, never forgot that. As a result- a lot of our blood cousins are able to have great health care, are able to compete in the Western world.

So, you may not read about him until you are older. You may read a bit about him in the history books - but always remember-

Your Dad and your Mom are going to be proudest of you when you give back.

We love you son,

Dad

Becoming the best diaper changer

Hey JJ,

Its morning- and for most of the last 20 days of your life, every morning your grandpa and I would sit up with you- sneak a bottle to you, and rock you. Your grandpa and your uncle Peter had to go back to China, so this morning your mom and I had the duty. Thankfully your grandma is still here.

We miss your grandpa and uncle- and somewhere inside you do too. You are starting to notice things.

Yesterday when your mom came in the room and started to talk, you turned your head toward her- you started moving your feed as if to propel yourself to her- and started to fuss. As soon as you mom picked you up and kissed you the fussing stopped.

I don't know if you notice me yet- that's ok- I didn't carry you for nine months. I'm the guy who tries hard to change most of your diapers. Why diapers? Because that is the one thing I can do. Most of the feeding is from your mom, and other than an occasional bottle, I can't help you with that. But I can give you a bit of comfort - and you seem to be fastidious. You notice when your backside is wet! So I vowed to become the best diaper changer I could be - just like striving to be the best surgeon I can be - changing your diaper with rapid surgical skill. Ok- I installed a surgical scrub solution by your diaper changing table.

Odd, if someone would have told me a year ago that I would be working on improving my diaper changing skills I would have wondered what insane asylum they came from. But, in 20 days I've changed over 100 diapers - and am working on making it fast and comfortable for you. Because this is the simple thing I can do to make you comfortable. Amazing, you fuss and cry when your diaper needs changing, and while I am changing it you fuss and cry - then once the new diaper is on you stop crying and almost smile.

Someday son, you will not need diapers- but I have a bigger more ambitious plan. I want to be the best father I can be.

Love,

Dad

In laws

Dear JJ,

Took this photo tonight of the Grosshans side of the family. You are being held by your mom, while your buddy Dr. Lucky is watching out for you - as he always does. Your uncle Peter, and your grandparents Gigi and Grandpa George and on the end, your favorite aunt, Kim.

You are going to hear a lot of jokes about in-laws. You are going to hear how many people make fun of them, or grudgingly put up with them. You won't hear that from me.

The hardest part of having your family (my in-laws) here is knowing that they will leave. Tomorrow your aunt Kim leaves- in spite of me trying to convince her to move to Phoenix. Later your grandpa and uncle Peter leave-- and then GiGi leaves. The only other day of my life that felt empty was at the end of February (when they were all here last, and left again). Your family is the kindest, most gentle, easiest people to be around.

They are here to meet you- and to help your mom as she started taking care of you. I am so happy they are here.

So, JJ-- you are lucky to have such a great family. They have loved you for a long time- and now they have gotten to meet you. The next years we will spend going to see them again - as you grow- because they are pretty special folk. That means you will be going to China, and Atlanta (unless they get smart and move to Phoenix). But also to Alaska and Oregon.

Next month you get to meet my side of the family in Oregon, and maybe Alaska - and we are very much looking forward to that.

You are surrounded by love, son - and that is probably because you give off so much.

Love,

Dad

Nine Days

Dear Son,

Nine days I have had you!

This week you got to meet your grandpa Grosshans and your uncle Peter! They arrived late Tuesday night - but as late as it was, they were perfectly awake to meet you and hold you.

This morning as I went in to change you- your grandpa came in, and after I was done held you until you gently fell asleep. There is a lot of love in this house right now- you have your aunt, Kim, grandma and grandpa Grosshans, your mom - and your doggie, Lucky, (oh, me too).

It is wonderful having this house full of family - the sad part is yesterday they started to make arrangements for going back to China. We are going to miss them - a lot.

This week we saw the pediatrician; he tells us you will start sleeping through the night in the next two weeks - and that is ok with us.

Until then - we love playing with you- holding you- and every moment with you is pretty special. Even as I am writing this you are laying in the bassinet beside me (we are giving your mom some rest this morning).

Ok, son, I have to go to work- so I get to turn you over to your grandpa for a bit. I sure look forward to coming home tonight. Funny how life changes. A year ago I would go to the cigar shop every night on my way home- then I met your mom, and now we have you. Now I pass by the cigar shops and head home with a big smile.

Love,

Dad

Two ladies and a baby

Dear JJ,

Happy five days old, son!

So here is what I have learned:

(a) changing diapers isn't so bad - in fact, I am working on getting better and better at it (like surgery, I want to become the best diaper changer in the world)

(b) I cannot imagine how single mothers do this without any help. Your gigi is here, and even with her, your mom, and me- we need six extra hands -- thankfully reinforcement will come tonight when your Auntie Kim comes

(c) Sleep - you get a lot of it- but for you an hour here or there is fine- for us- well, we make the mistake of staying up when it is light and trying to wake up as needed. I suspect we need to figure it out a different way - like taking naps all the time.

(d) We were worried about how Dr. Lucky would react around you. He sniffs you, licks your face, and then sits down by you as if he is standing guard. I wonder if dogs have instincts about people puppies?

Your mom just stares at you sometime and says how much she loves you - so do I. I feel like a teenager who is in love for the first time (or second ) - because I can't stop talking about you.

Everyone wants to say who you look like- me, your mom, your grandfather, your aunt - so far you look like you- or maybe Yoda - but you are cute.

I keep getting my chance to hold you, kiss your head, and rock you. It was more special than I thought it would be.

Finally- some friends came over to see us yesterday- Evo and Sheila - somehow we had forgotten what adult conversation was - and guess what- I look forward to adult conversation with you. I'm not rushing you- this is a pretty nice place to have you.

OK- JJ- I need a nap- it is afternoon here- which is your prime sleeping time

Love,

Dad

Hi Son!

Wow- you are here! All 7 lbs 13 ounces of you, and 20.5 inches of you. You are here! And everything I imagined - .

It was quite a day - while we can plan C-sections, we cannot always plan the time they will happen. True to form- there was an emergency or two before they were able to get to your mom - but we went in about 15:45 and you were born at 16:01. The entire C-section took 16 minutes from skin to skin.

You were taken quickly to a warmer where the pediatrician cleaned you up - and guess whose arms you were put into first -- yup, mine. We got you right over to your mom though, and she was the second person to give you a kiss!

The last couple of nights I have stayed up with you -- although around 3 am I fall asleep. Your mom and I are learning how to take care of you and all I can say is that it is difficult to put you down!

So, son - welcome to this world. You no longer have your mother's womb to protect you but you are surrounded by the love of your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so many wonderful friends.

One good friend saw a photo of me holding you and said, "You have spent your life waiting for him." It's true-- I have, I just didn't know it.

Sorry if I keep wanting to hold you- I'm just upset I took a week off instead of a month

Love,

Dad