Well son, we know the day you are suppose to get here. July 20th.
I can't tell you how excited your mother and I are to see your face! We get a little glimpse next week, when we have an ultrasound scheduled, but there are a whole lot of people here who are anxious to meet you.
The most amazing one of them is your mom. For over eight months she has carried your life in her body. Before we could feel you move we would listen to your heartbeat with an ultrasound that I brought from work - just wanting to hear that heartbeat to know that you are ok. When your mom bumped into some skis she wanted to know that you weren't hurt -- .
The last two weeks have been tough on her- a lot of pain and difficulty walking- but she doesn't complain much - and everytime she feels you move she smiles. When I look over at her belly and see you moving around she calls me over and puts my hand on your little body- and we feel you move. It is amazing for me- and I can see, in your mother's eyes, how amazing it is for her.
Your mom was in television for a lot of years. An active sport's person - doing all sorts of extreme sports (in fact, she was called the x-girl). She never thought she would have kids. One time when interviewing a comedian named Robin Williams, he asked if she had kids and she said, "not in this uterus." That all changed after we met.
I didn't think I would have a child either- thought that it had passed - but that is nothing. Your mom, who was use to living in a bikini - being active - has put that aside and her primary interest is now you.
Your mom is anxious to see you- and loves you already. Oh- and your dad - -well, I can't wait to see you - to hold you, to kiss your little head, and to rock you to sleep.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Today is Father's Day- my first as a dad! I never knew what a great day this was until you came into our lives - because I love the idea of being a dad, and because now I know what all those other dads out there feel.
Here are some photos of my dad, your grandpa - a sweet, wonderful man.
I'm just a little overcome with emotion now, the thought of being a dad - of having you around at all different times in life. But I know a bit about being a son:
My dad would sometimes work late into the night. He would always come home for supper, but often had to go back to the college to work, or to the city council meetings. He would come home late, and always come into my room to say goodnight. Sometimes he would lay down in bed with me and whenever he did he would always fall asleep. I would sit there as a little boy and wait for him to snore, then giggle. He would wake up, "Did I fall asleep?" I would say yes. Then he'd say, "Well, I got to go to bed then, goodnight son."
Those moments get more precious as the years go by. To think of my dad, working hard for his family - wanting to come home and spend that bit of time with his son.
I hope I don't have to work too many late nights - but if I do - I know coming home and spending a bit of time with you will be a precious time. In fact, spending anytime with you is pretty nice.
OK- I have to go play golf- by the way, I can't wait to play golf with you. Don't expect I will give you any strokes -- because I look forward to the day when you beat me at this game.
Love you son,
Friday, June 18, 2010
You are from one of the greatest places-- Alaska. It is where I was born, your dad was born, and many generations back.
Your great-grandfather (my dad's dad) - came to Alaska in the 1890's for the gold rush. He did some mining, and some fur trapping, and ran a roadhouse for a while.
I am seriously considering flying your mom to Alaska to have you born there (well, semi-serious - don't know if the airline would let your mom go there).
So, while you may be born in Arizona-- your home- is, and will always be- Alaska
Monday, June 14, 2010
The time is getting closer that we get to meet you - and every day we are getting more and more anxious.
This was a photo from your mom and my last trip on a plane before your birth. Your mom and I have traveled a lot in our romance - but those times will, for a bit, come to a halt. But we have made a few plans for the future:
(a) We bought the stroller. This is your mobile home for a while. There are about twenty reasonable choices in strollers these days. We picked one that folds up and travels easily.
(b) Discovered you just need your birth certificate to fly - but we will be getting you a social security number and passport soon after you arrive
(c) Your grandparents from China are in for the week. Great week, by the way- you are blessed with wonderful grandparents. We have made tentative plans of where to take you
(d) On every trip I take I watch how parents act with their kids and ask questions about their travel gear
(e) Working on frequent flier status for you
Yup- son, you are going to spend a lot of time traveling. Mostly to third world countries whose names few knows how to spell. Your mom and I plan on spending time in countries helping with their health care system. Of course there will be a lot of travel and time in Alaska, time in China, and time in Oregon. Then there are our friends - like the whole group in Tampa that brought your mom and I together and are all of your aunts and uncles. And friends we have met around the country.
You'll probably learn to operate mom's video camera by age 5, be editing by age 6 - and assisting me in the operating room by age 12.
So we look forward to meeting you -- and keep that diaper bag packed, we have a lot of places to take you.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I've been wanting to write this to you ever since I found out about you. But I've been putting it off because everytime I sit to a keyboard and think about you entering our family - tears stream down my face when I think of how happy and blessed I am to know and love you. You are already my treasure, my joy, my heart and soul.
(This picture is of your Uncle Peter,
Me and your grandfather - at the Great Wall of China - hence our fun hats that we found!)
The excitement and happiness that pumps thru my veins is like none other I've ever experienced.
I love to feel your movements, kicks, stretches and fingers and toes. I can only imagine what it's like where you are... and these days as my tummy grows... I count down the days we get to meet you in real life! (You are kicking right now! Even as I write!)
I pray every night for you JJ... and most of all I pray you will have the heart of your grandfather - my dad. He's spent his entire life - little one... serving others.
Lifting them up when hearts are down, counseling those who are in need of direction, holding those who are left alone and crying with those who weep. He is a backbone, a leader but also an angel who is sensitive to those who may not even realize what they're in need of.
He is a beautiful man of peace, great knowledge and amazing comfort. When he speaks, the room listens and when he prays... even those who do not believe in prayer... bow and feel blessed.
He is sincere in his love for others, and most of all he has always lead by example... not words. My daddy is always in study of more knowledge. He is open to constant growth and is not opposed to having his heart, soul and beliefs stretched even to the point of doubt and disbelief... always in the end trusting in God - knowing that He is fully in control.
My dad is a sweet and virtuous man, but not afraid to speak up, encourage or even lead when others may not see or agree.
He is a beautiful man I'd like you to know, he is a man I'd love you to want to be like he is also a man that has seen what it is to live, learn and love in times that are not easy or unbelievable. He is a man who you will always be able to go to - in need, in laughter and in trouble.
He is a person I want to be like - moving forward, in everyway- but especially with my children... you.
Now I know that one day he will read this and say "Oh Apey - you exagerate and leave out all my weaknesses and faults..." but truly JJ - he is the man that is to me - the closest example to what I pray God is like... if and when we meet Him.
You see, I've always felt the love of a father in times of great joy and great difficulty, and even in times when my dad could not understand my actions (even when I couldn't understand my own actions) he was always there to wrap his arms around me and let me know he would be there no matter what.
There are days where I remember being 5 years old on the soccer field in Erin Mills and hearing his booming low smooth voice yelling - "Goooooooo Apppppprrrriiiilll"... to when he held me in his arms last year and wept with me when I was in the depths of despair and confusion. He has always been my arms of safety, little one. I vividly remember him saying to both my sister and I one night - "there are 2 things I pray for my children everyday... that they feel the constant of Grace and Peace in their lives." And while, it's been quite a journey of good and bad for me, those two things have found my heart today and I guard them with everything I can.
Now I will pray the same for you.
JJ, I know that your dad will be like that, and so will I. We are committed to it. We will be your safe place, your protection and your place where you can come to us with questions, fears, joys and confusion... I pray little one, that your heart develops into a beautiful soul in which those around you will be blessed by your presence, your knowledge, talents and wisdom... everyday I pray you will have the heart of my dad - your grandfather.
"Perhaps you were too busy enjoying the good things in life... To realize what was Best for your life." - my dad, your grandfather
Love Your Mum
ps - wait until you hear about my Mum, your grandma - this is where you'll get your sense of adventure from!